Go to Lake of the Woods they said. It’ll be fun, they said.
Actually, it was fun. Fun, as in, -20F for a high with 30mph winds. Day two was a bit better, no wind. But it was a pretty good time. Those of you that enjoy the hard water can appreciate what it truly takes to brave the elements and go after an elusive animal. For me, it meant booking a trip through a resort and being herded like cattle to a toasty warm fish house. And during a 2 hour period of blowing snow so thick that “white out conditions” utterly failed to describe, I had a little time to think. And to look at the 1 fish I had landed so far. Not that it was a big one, or a small one, but it was the first out of the water for our 5 person crew, and that got me bragging rights, and $1 from everyone there.
So $4 dollars richer, and staring at my fish, it hit me. Fish can’t blink. Mostly because they don’t have eyelids. But could you even imagine not being able to blink? EVER? My mind quickly went to food (as it often does), and I thought of slicing ten pounds of onions for French Onion Soup, and how truly terrible an experience that would be. Or cooking at our Chef’s Table, and how unbelievably scary it would be for a nice couple to try to enjoy dinner, being served by the supreme grand master of the greatest staring contest of all time. I’d envisioned it would look something like this:
For 2 hours, as is the usual length of a Chef’s Table Dinner. I’d almost want to have a fin lined hat to add to the effect. Much like with food, you have to commit to the joke.
Now successfully returned from the great white north, I’ve had a day to think about how happy I am for eyelids, and that when you come out for dinner, I will not be sporting a fin lined hat.